had the guts got the glory

[geese]

1. What does their bedroom look like?

uh new orleans, the cayman islands, nyc circa 2012. pick your hurricane zone. the floor's so covered in clothes it's as comfortable as the bed, if you don't accidentally roll onto a paring knife. bottles everywhere. burned shit from that time he found a lighter from god knows where and just went around setting little fires while drunk. people didn't come to his house before katniss. if he ever has sex with a 12 woman (SUP MRS EVERDEEN) he doesn't bring them to his place cause that's just too many layers of bad idea. sheets over the windows but light ones so that it's still a bit lit during the day. wax and bits of candles cause apparently he uses those (electricity what is it). and he immediately fucks up his capitol room every year so it's homier and annoying to people like escorts and avoxes. he has complicated avox feelings though. sry mutes he's like a bunch of fratboys on spring break, but in one person. but! less condoms. :D?

all in all: danger zone.

2. Do they have any daily rituals?

aside from drinking, not really? sleeping with his knife is ritualy i guess since he doesn't ever not do it. he only brushes his teeth when he can't stand the taste of his own mouth anymore. sexy sexy man.

3. Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

only when people make him (peeta, coin) and he sucks at it and will bitch the whole goddamn time. his body's preeeetty destroyed by years of alcoholism. running winds him easily, it takes him weeks to be able to throw a knife decently again, he's not as fast as he was in the games by a long shot, but he is as strong and he'll stab you up good in close quarters (how hard is it, really). soon as the war's over and coin's dead, it's right back to a strict regimen of drinking and doing fuck all.

4. What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

he only went there for wine anyway. takes that, fucks off back to solitude. if it's the capitol and he actually feels like eating he'll just grab a tray of whatever looks the least complicated.

5. Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

cleanliness habits = nonexistent. he's not afraid of baths or anything he just has no regard for himself, physically. they make him clean up for the games which he hates so he associates anything they consider basic hygiene with the capitol and he don't want nunna that nonsense the rest of the year. plus it's just considerate, y'know? he's a human disaster. it's right there on the cover. and people might think because he apparently can't take care of himself he's not all there, but he is. he pays attention. he pays a lot of friggin attention by default. ignoring is a choice. whiiiich he makes lot for a long time pre-74. at least as far as tributes are concerned.

6. Eating habits and sample daily menu

lmf what habits? god he's the worst at eating. his paunch in thg is mostly from sitting around and drinking for a living. grocery shopping is just incidental while he's out getting booze. he could get expensive horse meat or whatever, or fancy merchant buns. he goes there if he's got a craving or feels like throwing his money at people since he doesn't need it or care about it. but he's fine with squirrels and the stuff hunted from the forest. he can boil water without burning the house down, knows enough simple dishes to get by. he'd rather eat less and have it be more filling cause he's not highly motivated to eat. depression! food's way tastier in the capitol though, he nibbles there. i don't think he goes in for the green beans and mash imo. that and the whole fop thing me and woody will have to agree to disagree on. BACON WRAPPED SCALLOPS 4 LIFE

7. Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

8. Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

guess.

9. Makeup?

fuck that shit. he doesn't like it on anyone. they powder him up for the cameras, make his hair presentable, and that's about it. trims his own beard as necessary for them so that they don't swoop in and put blades in his face and turn him into a more hot version of seneca crane, who sucks.

what you should take away from this answer is that seneca crane sucks.

10. Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?

paranoia, which is just realism in his opinion. there's the fact that he's so afraid of the dark he can't sleep which yeah can't really spin that so it's healthy. doesn't let people cut his hair or anywhere near his throat with a knife. instasuspicion over anything too well put together. taste of ashes is probably flashbacktastic since he never met a volcano he didn't not like. if there's no alcohol on him or in the room = distress. his neuroses are worse when he's sober. it feels like by a lot but objectively it's not as much as he thinks, fucking addict.

11. Intellectual pursuits?

12. Favorite book genre?

philosophy and satire, which are both very hard to come by. he doesn't go in for any capitol approved reading, really. it's not a hobby of his pre-war. i have this lovely headcanon that district men are a subgenre of trashy romance novel for fluttering capitol hearts and cunts -- which sort of stands to reason cause present him with a bodice and he does not have the patience to unlace that nonsense.

13. Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?

heterosexual. sorry, fellas. he used to be a looker in his youth, though. could have gone down a finnickian path if snow had anything left to leverage against him but he didn't. there's something for everyone in the capitol. even now it's not that hard to get laid if he feels like it but his sex drive is mostly shot cause physically he's a disastuh -- and he hates most people more than he feels like having sex. except for that time peeta makes him fit up again and then it's like wow i was definitely fine forgetting i had this shit to deal with. boners, man. who needs em.

in general: he does not care.

14. Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)

i haven't thought about this but it's the kind of little headcanons i love. no scars from his games since the capitol takes those off. he has gotten into fights though. a lot. in his twenties. how i look at it: haymitch's 20's are a furious rager, his 30s were a full on black the fuck out bender, and his 40's are the hangover from hell. his scars are either from getting roughed up twentyish years ago or being a dumb drunk idiot. mostly the second thing. he doesn't even know where most of them came from. they're little and insignificant but they're his. at the same time if he was forced to be remade, he wouldn't miss them. he'd be pissed about the remake itself but has no emotional connection to the scars themselves, forgets about them most of the time, but he remembers his wounds from the games and has phantom pains i'm sure, or still sees them sometimes when he does look at himself.

he's allergic to water.
and makeup and old people.

no long term illnesses.... presently. but dude is gonna die of liver cancer 100%. all the symptoms of alcoholism and withdrawal whenever that doesn't work out. withdrawing haymitch is the fucking wooooorst. do not engage.

15. Biggest and smallest short term goal?

get drunk, stay drunk. minimise vomit.

16. Biggest and smallest long term goal?

VIVA LA REVOLUCION~

smallest um. stay alive.

17. Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

anti-capitol. fashion anarchy. grunge nation. blue denim.

neutral or dark colours -- whites, greys, blue and earth tones as long as there's some grey mixed in. usually an undershirt + button up combo so he's got a backup when he inevitably tears or stains the top one. he'll wear shit til it falls apart and even after that. hates buying clothes. thick sweaters in the winter. everything made locally. not cool enough for a leather jacket though

18. Favorite beverage?

rubbing alcohol

19. What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

he falls asleep drunk so even he couldn't say. sometimes his family, sometimes everything but his family. after thg, rebellion plans. after mj, alcohol rations.

20. Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

21. Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

turn ons: rough women (not dominating women, we'll get to that), women his own age (laugh lines and grey hairs and shit, proof of life is sexy), public or risk of discovery if she's capitol cause LOL LIKE HE CARES, blowjobs are almost inarguably great (EFFIE). orgasm denial. blindfolds, gags, and light bondage as long as they're not on him. emotional connection is actually a massive turn-on he just can't have that. he also likes going down but not on someone he hates so doesn't happen very often. and reluctantly he'll admit he's kinda into a good corset/stocking combo. oh and clothed sex with capitol chicks because he doesn't want them looking too human while he's doomcocking them

turn-offs: extravagance, seduction, tryhardiness. PLAYING COY. makes him mad. haymitch has already decided when he met you if he would fuck you. there's pretty much nothing you can say that'd change a hard no. but there is stuff you can drink. submission, ever. just wont happen unless it were like.... katniss and kink lifestyle. there are more exceptions for masochism (jo) but he's not into taking without giving, though he'll give without taking. depends on the partner and he is a bastard to most of them. cuddling. get the FUCK OUT holy shit you're still here? he's less against it post-mj but the whole life without constant observation thing is not an instant adjustment and he feels safer sleeping with a wide berth (and his partner should too). roses obvs. if he came in to those sprinkled on the bed the building would be a pile of ashes two minutes later (unsure). bloodplay, sadly. I LOVE IT but bedroom knives belong under the pillow. he wouldn't cut someone else up either even if they were super game. he'd just be like "no, you're wrong. i know it's your kink but your kink is wrong." and just the whole capitol attitude towards sex, that it's fun and essentially meaningless cause there's probably birth control in the water, and the assumption everyone feels the same way.

22. Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

sharpen the pencil into a shiv, tuck it away, fold the paper into a plane and aim it at effie's head. #lovablescamp

23. How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

30/70. he's organised enough to get a fucking rebellion together but he's more the idea man while plutarch does most of the communicating and organising since nobody expects him to start shit. in terms of anything EXCEPT overthrowing the government just... don't even bother. it's a mess. and it's not one of those messes that's actually completely discernible to the person who made it. it's really just shit. everywhere.

24. Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

lol streetwise hercules. haymitch is one of those fuckass kids who starts to question everything at a young age. he would start out initially interested in some subjects: history, art, politics. left hemisphere shit. the censorship would be glaring to him. he'd want to learn more about the stuff he can't and it'd piss him off, make him feel like all this shit is useless. one of those kids that's capable-to-great when they apply themselves but he NEVER does, he just starts shit and shuts people down with logic, and uses manipulation to get passing grades. some teachers would love him. the likeminded ones. the ones who mark assignments drunk or are basically the teacher from recess. after the games especially he loses all interest in history cause SHIT IS FUCKED RIGHT NOW and art cause hahaha beauty's a lie and it's gonna kill ya. and he'd teach himself useful stuff cause i think he went under the fence. headcanon, as i told whatsherface earlier, is him and his friends originally fucked it up. single mom, little bro, has to provide. figured out how to use a knife somewhere.

25. How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

dead. seriously he's just as upset as anyone he makes it through the rebellion. like he needed more survivor's guilt. alternatively, drunk. this sober thing sucks and he does not keep it going unsupervised. i want to write a log where he gets ghetto as FUCK and drinks mouthwash in 13 because That Desperate.

26. Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

win. failing that, die. kind of a game of thrones life he's leading here.

27. What is their biggest regret?

WHAT ISN'T

okay okay. it's a loooong list of nominees but the award goes to the one that started it all: manipulating the arena. winning, essentially. he only did it to live, and only wanted to live to get back to his family and his girlfriend. end of the day, he didn't win anything, which we all know.

28. Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

victors he's close to: chaff, seeder, etc. worst enemy is obviously snow, the stylists, the gamemakers, and he's got no love for caesar flickerman. respects how good he is at his job but holy shit the dude is obnoxious.

29. Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

these days he's working behind the scenes and not directly in the fray. if he couldn't avoid it (eg the house is on fire) he would try and control the crowd, get everyone out of danger and prioritise his own life accordingly. he's not as quick and effective in dire situations as he was in his games but he's still got a strong sense of self-preservation and isn't a burden to those around him -- at least until things cool down and he gets all surly about the booze going up in flames.

30. Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)

avoid avoid avOID AVOID AVOID. it's probably his fault. it usually is. if he doesn't need them to do or be something he'll just spare them his presence. oh and drink himself stupid. if there's no liquor around he'll avoid even harder. good luck finding him.

31. Most prized possession?

LMFAO NOTHING he doesn't put value into anything even his knife he's not attached to and he HATES HIS HOUSE SO GODDAMN MUCH. his flask i guess? is the most valuable thing to him by which i mean if he lost it he might tear up a room or two looking for it even if there was plenty of other alcohol around before giving up cause life's a bitch who takes your things.

post-mj, geese i guess.

32. Thoughts on material possessions in general?

meaningless. doesn't include food, shelter, necessities.

33. Concept of home and family?

boooo sad. doesn't really have one anymore. closest thing are the other victors since he feels responsibility for some of them, at least the ones he likes. used to be the seam but seam kids die like fucking mayflies in the arena so he's not really welcome around there anymore. sides it got blown up anyway. in d12 the homiest place to him is the hob cause it's privateish at least. ripper's is homey

victors are family-y. ish. he gets a bunch of them killed so yeah, just like family.

god his little brother. ;; family was so important to him and still is though it's fucked up and makeshift. his team worms their way into his coal black heart pretty fast so. DON'T YOU KNOW THAT'S WHY YOU HAD TO GET HIJACKED PEETA? BC HAYMITCH ABERNATHY LOVES YOU. THERE WAS NO OTHER WAY THIS COULD HAVE ENDED.

34. Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?

private, even when he's being public. there's nothing given away that isn't somehow deliberate. part of the reason he has nothing he values cause nothing is really HIS so it's not worth valuing. he doesn't tell katniss about his example situation until like the end of the last book and given it's a cautionary tale EVERYONE MUST KNOW at least victor-wise and nobody tells her. don't fuck around with haymitch's secrets. i mean it was really FUCKING relevant to her. maybe they all just assumed he must have told her right after. either way no one asked to make sure. don't. fuck. around. once he's done being forced to the capitol every year nobody even sees him when he isn't out buying booze from the sounds of it so yeah once he's got an actually private place, he is going to live there. like he is going to die there. everyone else can fuck off. his body is going to be found with his face eaten off by geese. no regrets.

35. What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

36. What makes them feel guilty?

ev...erything..... when he hurts people deliberately, when he hurts people by accident. okay let's just. let's just take it from the top.

1. maysilee's death
2. his mother's, brother's, and girlfriend's deaths
3. the deaths of his tributes
4. the deaths of other rebellion conspirators during the second quell (chaff, cecelia, seeder, blight, etc)
5. the torture of peeta, johanna, and annie
6. the imprisonment, torture and neglect of effie
7. the death of prim and the casualties of the rebellion (finnick, castor, pollux, etc)

and he tells himself not to feel guilty over the masons' murder and the casualties of katniss's victory tour cause he doesn't have enough time in a day, but he still does sometimes.

37. Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?

he is very emotional but it doesn't serve him and it gets shelved when the hard calls need to be made, which is pretty much all the time. analytical. he's constantly trying to arrange the board to his liking and it'd be great if everyone could not die to get the job done but the results outweigh the importance of the means.

38. Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?

he never met a psychiatrist he liked so he doesn't buy into most psychological theories and he definitely wouldn't cough anything up for type a/type b. he's type f for go fuck yourself.

39. What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

a lot of drinking followed by a solid night's sleep, no nightmares. and showering can be nice after he's gotten particularly gross but that's a secret he'll never tell, not even finnick.

40. Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

well he feels morally superior to capitol folks that's for sure, but he's also such a piece of shit that the arrogance doesn't carry over into other interactions unless he wants it to. he doesn't aggrandize or victimize himself cause the games take care of that for him.

41. How misanthropic are they?

100 motherfuckers can't tell him nothin

42. Hobbies?

43. How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?

high school. he was close to a scholarship in mining when he got reaped at 16 and never went back afterward. formal education is fairly worthless pre-rebellion in his opinion. capitol decides on the curriculum so kids are forcefed only choice selections from history that enforce the current system, and good ol' propaganda. afterward he's so old and he has no kids so he doesn't really care, but he'll be pleased to hear about the changes and might not encourage kids to skip school and make shivs as much.

44. Religion?

are there... even? the worldbuilding for this series is so lax in certain regards. most regards. anyway he worships the great god atheismo.

45. Superstitions or views on the occult?

none. he doesn't believe in ghosts and science is kind of scarier in panem with mutts and volcanoes of death and ALL THE NIGHTMARES. like he don't have time for no ghostbiz. religion is vague as fuck in thg but he'd be an atheist. can't see it and the capitol didn't make it? doesn't exist. stop being an idiot and concentrate on the real problems you really have.

and luck HHA
HAHAAHAHA

is used by the weak to explain their failures and the strong to convince the weak they have no agency

it's all bullshit and it's bad for you

46. Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?

deeds. words are tools to get what you want.

47. If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

if you asked him he wouldn't know. well, no. if you asked him he would laugh. and laugh and laugh and need to take a breath and wipe his eyes from crying and he'd thank you, lord, he hasn't laughed like that in ages.

it has to be someone either nearly as or more screwed up than him. he can't deal with normal and especially the judgment it incurs. she has to be a drinker. casual, chronic, whatever. but booze is happening and it isn't going to stop happening. little details don't matter so much, agreeing on preferences, etc, doesn't so much either as long as she's, well, a good-hearted person and a serious fuck-up (which she'd have to be cause look at this guy). nobody pro-capitol.

48. How do they express love?

really badly, for the most part. doesn't matter how much he loves someone. revolution comes first. freedom and outcry and all that shit. he prioritizes that over his own feelings. katniss the symbol means more than katniss the person. nobody wants him to express love anyway cause he's always USING THEM. oh you love me? well that's GREAT, ASSHOLE, STOP BEING SUCH AN ASSHOLE THEN MAYBE? yeahhh doomcock of panem. so it's just. not gonna happen cause it's dumb cause someone'll get hurt. and he's stuck in those thinking patterns, of how to use who and how, how to get what he wants, what the situation needs, that if he DOES love someone it's pretty hard to tell if that's what it is or he just is using them emotionally. post-mj he just doesn't even try. okay, see you never, gonna go geese now. but he can be gentle. he holds katniss (more in the films than the books), he feels like shit over peeta's capture, he scares the shit out of prim but peeta's the only one he ever hits bc he stepped over the line. exposing his capacity for that though is a huge risk. for the most part he just tones down what a jerk he is in increments too small for the human eye.

OH YEAH i had a part b to the love question. he forces people to evaluate and try to love themselves cause honestly if they do they wouldn't hang out with him. everyone wins. anyway it's way more lasting and valuable than anything he could give them. go for that. that's a waaaay better goal.

call him a hypocrite, he doesn't care. never said he was a role model.

49. If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

dirty, like all his steez. his age and alcoholism put him at a disadvantage so he'll use anything short of name-calling to get the upper hand: knife, broken beer bottle, hits below the belt. filthy cheater.

50. Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

nooope. dying's not the worst that can happen to you, and he's been so inundated with it and misery in general that it's practically an old frenemy. he'd like to at least die on his terms but he doesn't necessarily expect to. his mentor committed suicide after his family was murdered. he never liked her much, hated her for a long time after, and has come to a more understanding place in middle age even if he never wants to follow in her footsteps with his own victors. put aside his usefulness for the rebellion and he has little regard for his own life.